Iron Ladies

Mother's Day March 15th 2015 and my phone is buzzing with loving messages from my own offspring as I prepare a special Sunday Lunch with our Mums. Mother's Day lunch is an M&S feast of roast beef and sticky toffee pudding followed by the giving of gifts of framed photos of their families

Then we clambered on board the Honda and set off on another mystery tour. The weather was not even 'nice under glass' as gloom and cloud threatened rain, but despite this, the Mum & Peggy's conversation was in full flood. Peggy's about the latest happenings in Corrie and a convoluted explanation about complications with the collection of one of her umpteen prescriptions: Mum's about her TV telling her there was no signal, her shifts as a volunteer at Erddig Hall and how she has ordered more ready meals on the phone. Both of them chatting away quite happily on different planes….



Mum & Peggy enjoying their 'I never knew this was here!'
surprise outing....

As a treat for this special day our destination was a real gem - The British Ironworks Centre, Oswestry. I am sure that people pass this on their way to somewhere else (as it is on the very busy A5 leading to Shrewsbury and all routes south) and idly think that they will visit it someday, but never get around to it. Also they might think ‘Why would I want to visit an ironwork centre?’

But the first time you motor up the sweeping drive you are awed by the wings of massive iron eagles. Looking to your left you glimpse life sized metal animals of every description in the meadow and gazelles leaping over the fence. It is just wonderful and it is all free!

The centre provides metal work for home and garden and you can find unusual statues, benches, gazebos should you wish to buy. There is also a great showroom where you can buy anything from life sized figures to numbers for your garden gate - if it made if metal this is where you will find it. There is also a quirky little tea shop. Add to this specialist displays from onsite artists and a blacksmith and you have a very special way of losing a few hours.

Joy in the simple things.. a good cup of tea at
The British Ironworks café

I hope you will forgive the rather contrived title to today’s blog, but seeing the resilience of some of the figures sitting outside the Ironwork Centre I am reminded of them and I think it is somehow appropriate to describe my Mum & Peggy as Iron Ladies. They have lived through a war and often tell me how hard it was literally living with death and destruction and the very real fear that Hitler may be in charge very soon. The small daily hardships such as rationing which went on for many years after the war – how bananas and nylons were a luxury and a teaspoon of butter was your week’s ration. Peggy and Mum both agreed that the blackout was terrifying as you had to stumble your way through the dark if you were out at night.

They are now are waging their own battles with the challenges of aging, the loss of friends, the horrible ways that their bodies let them down, facing up to their twilight years. But spending an afternoon with them is not a gloomy experience, they face up to their lives with the fortitude and resilience they built up over those difficult years. They laugh as they realise how others see them old and decrepit – although they don’t feel it. They take joy in small things, cups of tea, a decent night on the telly and an afternoon out in good company – perhaps we should learn from them.

The Case of the Disappearing Grandmas

Viewing the entire process of ageing is almost impossible. We see our children grow up and we watch our parents age, but rarely do we see an entire life span, as we inevitably die ourselves and (hopefully) never have to see our children's lives end.

I believe that ageing speeds up and slows down throughout our lives. The first 5 years of a life sees huge changes as the child's bones in the skull re-arrange themselves after birth and the child learns to walk and gain posture. The following years are often characterised by the child having to listen to the phrase 'hasn't he grown?' many times as they shoot up and out in all directions. As they approach adolescence their faces lose that baby cuteness and the change can sometimes be startling.

But past 20 and through to 40 the changes are fewer and far more subtle. I am often quite at a loss to guess the age of someone in that age bracket. Of course, we are getting very good at hiding the classic signs such as grey hair and wrinkles so I like to think that we look almost the same until we reach our mid 50s. Depressingly, I read that the age I am now-57-is the age at which it all starts to happen. But I still feel 20!

Similarly, I think that once the greying and wrinkling process has finished and a person has given up using the hair dye and the Botox, then it is very difficult to tell the difference between a 75 year old and a 90 year old.

Mum and her Danish son-in-law Steen
in April 2013

I look at photos of Peggy and Mum over the past few years and yes, there are changes, but they still look 75. Apart from one thing.... they are shrinking.

Mum's posture has always been pretty good and only recently has she developed the widows hump so characteristic of old age. She is also very much shorter and thinner. Peggy, who has always been a healthy weight, also says that she is losing weight. They both eat well and are healthy in most respects, but are diminishing before our eyes. I am only 5 feet tall, but I feel as though I am towering over my little Mum and as I am her child it feels wrong somehow....

They were discussing how difficult it was to get their skirts to stay on now that their waists are smaller. Action needed to be taken to prevent an embarrassing 'skirt round the ankles' scenario. So turning a negative into a positive, I decided this was the perfect opportunity to make a Nice Under Glass trip to M&S in Ellesmere Port to buy clothes that fitted - sorted.

They both agreed to this trip .... as one thing they have in common is that they believe that 'letting yourself go' is a slippery slope down to dementia which should be avoided at all costs. So complementary scarves are applied to outfits, lipsticks to their faces and regular hairdresser's appointments are kept. Their bodies may be getting smaller, but their pride and determination is as big as ever.

 

 

  

Flowers for Mother's Day?

Its Mother's Day this weekend and I was almost knocked unconscious by the heady whiff of flowers as I entered the supermarket this afternoon. A huge array of blooms of every description await you this Saturday when you pop in for your Sunday roast. For flowers are the first resort of us offspring when it comes to this day (deigned by the unknown powers who control these things) that celebrates the person who bore us.

I do however, have a small dilemma on gifts for Mums, in that I don't always like to go to the entirely predictable. There are also quite a number of other people buying for each of the grannies and flowers are on the top of their lists. It has been known for flowers to be sent from Australia and Sweden so well connected (or should it be respected?) are my mothers.

Okay, pretty but predictable...but there's more....

So I have gone to the next resort of the unimaginative present buyer - M&S. I have bought Mum & Peggy gift vouchers (and oh, how pretty they are!), but told them that they are getting them in advance. I have also arranged to go to one of our favourite Nice Under Glass Sunday jaunts and that is the 2nd biggest M&S in the country. Not only do they get a voucher but the undiluted joy of retail therapy. So enormous is this M&S that we've been there 3 times and not managed to get upstairs yet.

M&S in Cheshire Oaks, Ellesmere Port opened to great local excitement a few years ago and is a fantastic place to go to - not just for the shopping but because it boasts that it is one of the largest sustainable retail stores in the world  http://plana.marksandspencer.com/we-are-doing/climate-change/cheshire-oaks

So it's a good Sunday Roast, then a ride down the M56 to the store, a good browse amongst the navy

I am a lucky Mum and Grandma too....

and white and comfy shoes, a swift survey of the fluffy cushions and leather armchairs, the purchase of a few ready meals and bagged salad all rounded off with a cup of tea. Perfect..... for some Mothers anyway....

(PS I have already had my flowery gift - and very beautiful they are too... thank you, my darlings...)