The Real 'Problem of Ageing'

I read an article (in the Guardian no less) called 'Embrace Your Years' Having spent a slightly

Slightly confused about our antics....

 extended time with my Mum over the Christmas season and come back from a trip to town with both of the old ladies, I was interested in what it had to say, as I feel that aging is one of the most challenging and sometimes frightening thing that most of us have to face. Indeed, said the blurb at the beginning of the article, 'Society has a deep fear of ageing'.

But I was disappointed. It went on to tell us that a study of 2,000 women worried about 'the signs of ageing' by 29 and that such 'fears' are commonly expressed by younger women than this. Adolescence using Botox, skin products and general hysteria all about those wrinkles. Eh? Wrinkles? Looking older? That, I feel, is the absolute last of your worries when you face advancing years.

Mum is (as she is never shy to tell us) 92. She lives alone, drives and does regular voluntary work, she reads - historical novels being her favourite- keeps up with the news and generally does all she can to stave off senility. A complete expert on the local National Trust property she still does tours and presents well. She long ago gave up fancy face creams or make up, (but incidentally looks at least 10 years younger than her age-but then after 80 who cares?). But she knows her memory is going. The frustration and fury in her when she misplaces yet another letter, forgets cancelling an


Mum (far right) is 92 but looks 80

appointment or loses her keys is so difficult to comfort.

At family parties over the Christmas season, she is of course the star, but she is on her own in her generation. She does not understand most of what we talk about - does not understand that in this new internet age we have access to any piece of information at our fingertips and stubbornly goes to the library to find out things. It is sometimes difficult, in the drunken and merry state we are in. There is a temptation to not take her seriously or listen properly to what she has to say. I believe she has long ago lost the ability to engage properly in conversations or understand what we are trying to tell her. She is in short, out on a limb at such get-togethers. But she bravely sits it out and goes around talking to everyone - still loving to be the centre of attention.

It was wonderful for her to have the entire extended family of 20 around - all  of her children alive and well with their various offspring to great grandchild level. But sadly, much of this is fading from her memory already and despite our plethora of smart phones, digital cameras and iPads we failed to take a proper photograph to help her remember.

My point about all this is that it seems that the word 'ageing' is most often referred to in the media in relation to looking good, keeping wrinkles away and keeping fit..... I think this is all a side issue to the real every day challenges and problems of being over 70. When (if) you reach my Mum's age, you will look back and thank the day that all you had to worry about was the odd grey hair, a few droopy bits around your jowls and a birthday suit in need of ironing.